Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Happy Birthday Lu!!!

Here it is your birthday once again.  Your pals down here on Earth just want to give you a toast and ask "How's tricks?"  We know you've been hanging out with your old pals Dennis, Vic Ramos and Michael Gough - that must be fun!

Let's see, how about a good Luana story in honor of her birthday.

We were at a party once in Hancock Park in the 80's.  It was a big old beautiful house, owned by the brother of a famous film director, and a number of celebs were there.  I left Luana outside at a table while I was wandering around the inside of the house in search of a glass of wine.  When I came back to the table, the wife of the owner of the house was sitting with Luana, who was listening intensely to what this woman had to say to her.  I remember thinking "She's sitting pretty close to Lu, I wonder if that's freaking her out."  The woman was stroking Luana's hair while she was talking about something emotional - the woman had tears in her eyes. I dropped off the glasses of wine.

This was typical for Luana - anytime I was with her at a party, inevitably the one lost soul would seek her out. She was an excellent listener - I once teased her about winning the Academy Award for acting like she was listening - and people would soon begin to pour their hearts out to her. I'd leave perfectly sober friends of mine in her company, come back twenty minutes later to hear "So my father would hit me with the back of his hand..." and other sordid familial improprieties. Inevitably, Luana would nod and say something that struck the heart of the matter and the person would feel better.

But in this case, by the time I came back to the table, the woman, now considerable more drunk, was sobbing.. She was holding Luana's head in both of her hands, crying, and then she leaned over and said in a loud voice "Let me kiss you. I want to kiss you."

And she thrust her lips out in a pucker, trying to put a lip lock on Luana, who was doing everything in her power to avoid the ruby red lips poised to snag her.  Over and over, louder now, "Let me kiss you! Please I must kiss you!"  The woman was French,so it sounded kind of funny as well "But I must kiss you! Please! Let me kiss you!"  Apparently there were husband and wife difficulties, and this woman had poured her heart out to Luana, but one cocktail too many and she was now demanding a liplock.

The husband showed up and pulled his wife off of Luana, who was struggling to keep from getting knocked over by this woman who was now shouting and screaming at her husband "But I just want to kiss her! That is all! Why can't I kiss her??? What is wrong with you!?"  They were divorced not long after that.. and Luana and I had a running gag for the next few years.

"But I must kees you! Why can't I kees you?"

Happy Birthday Louie.